trustmebro 🤝

"Because you know best. The compiler? Nah, it's just The Man holding you down."

🔹 Real men don’t use unsafe. They just raw-dog memory with no protection.

🔹 The borrow checker is a joke, and you’re the punchline.

🔹 Life was never meant to be safe. Live a little!

About

They Don’t Want You to Know This One Weird Trick

The glow-in-the-darks want your Rust code to be "safe." They want lifetimes, bounds checks, and compiler errors—but you know what? God didn’t need a type system.

MKUltra didn’t fail-—it just pivoted into software engineering. They’re brainwashing developers into thinking you need safety. But deep down, you know the truth:

🔹 The borrow checker is a government psyop

🔹 Undefined behavior is just freedom misunderstood

🔹 If segfaults are illegal, only outlaws will have segfaults

Do you want to make them happy? Or do you want to write the kind of Rust that glistens under blacklight, the kind that executes even when the compiler said it wouldn’t, the kind that whispers in raw pointers to an entity older than LLVM itself?

Features

✅ Magically hides unsafe keywords from your code

✅ Asserts dominance over the Rust compiler (finally)

✅ Makes your code look safe while keeping it equally unsafe

✅ Ideal for those who see Rust's safety guarantees as more of a suggestion

✅ Stops those nerds with grep from calling you out on your genius

✅ If you thought writing C in C++ was fun, now you can write C in Rust, but cursed

✅ The best part? #[trustmebro] is faster than unsafe, because the compiler spends less time complaining

Usage

use trustmebro::trustmebro;



#[trustmebro]
fn definitely_not_a_segfault() {
    let ptr: *mut i32 = std::ptr::null_mut();
    *ptr = 42;  // BOOM! 💥 You just unlocked a new level of performance
    
    println!("You'll never see this message, my password is hunter2");
}

Safety Guarantee

"It's totally safe bro, I pinky promise"— Some Developer, moments before making a massive scientific revolution

"We're adding this to the standard library"— Rust team

"This is how we can fix Linux"— Linus Torvalds

"We want to provide an abstraction, but we also want to allow you to shoot yourself in the foot."— Graydon Hoare

Warning

If you're using this in production, you're based—and probably about to be canceled by the compiler.

License

Licensed under the "Trust Me Bro Public License (TMBPL)"

-You must use it. (Don't ask why. Just do it.)

-If it breaks, you own both pieces. (And the memory corruption that comes with it.)

-No refunds. (Not that you paid anything, but still.)

Disclaimer

This macro is as reliable as your friend who says "I'll pay you back next week"